To Stay
by PandoraHeartsAngel
Summary: Will, with the help of Magnus and Camille, turn Jem into a vampire. For Will's own selfish reasons to keep Jem alive and with him, no matter the price.
1. The Beginning

**Story: ****_(I Need You)_**** To Stay**

- By **PandoraHeartsAngel**

**Summary:** Will, with the help of Magnus and Camille, turn Jem into a vampire. For Will's own selfish reasons to keep Jem alive and with him, no matter the price.

**Chapter Summary**: How it all starts...

**AN: **Warning! I suggest to NOT read this unless your past the quote below that is in Clockwork Princess!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in '_The Infernal Devices' _by **Cassandra** **Clare**; I'm only a huge fan of all her books!

**Dear Wonderful Reviewers: **Reviews are very appreciated; they are the things that make me want to get up and update as quickly as possible! But please flames are not ok, saying 'no offence' afterwards doesn't change anything.

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**Chapter 1: **The Beginning

~Tessa~

**Jem's room, The Institute, 2:33pm**

Tessa reached to brush the damp hair from his forehead. He leaned into her touch, his eyes closing. "Jem—have you ever—" She hesitated. "Have you ever thought of ways to prolong your life that are not a cure for the drug?"

At that his eyelids flew open. "What do you mean?"

She thought of Will, on the floor of the attic, choking on holy water. "Becoming a vampire. You would live forever—"

He scrambled upright against the pillows of the bed. "Tessa, no. Don't—you can't think that way."

"Is the thought of becoming a Downworlder truly so horrible to you?"

"Tessa …" He exhaled slowly. "I am a Shadowhunter. Nephilim. Like my parents before me. It is the heritage I claim, just as I claim my mother's heritage as part of myself. It does not mean I hate my father. But I honor the gift they gave me, the blood of the Angel, the trust placed in me, the vows I have taken. Nor, I think, would I make a very good vampire. I would no longer be Will's _parabatai_, no longer be welcome in the Institute. No, Tessa. I would rather die and be reborn and see the sun again, than live to the end of the world without daylight."

~Will~

_'What can I do now? Without yin fin Jem won't be able to live any longer... I need him. My brother. My other half. My better half... James...'_

Will stared at Jem's pale face on the pillow from his spot next to his _parabatai_'s bed. He sat on the white sofa chair, it was so familiar to him now. He would come into Jem's room whenever he was in it, take a seat in the old chair and stay beside Jem. It was almost second nature to him now. It felt like this spot, this chair, was a part of him now. A part of himself that keeps him alive. Sure he had thought about Jem's approaching death, he had always known Jem was fated to live a short life. He was ill, and the cause of his sickness was also keeping him alive. The irony was melanchoy to say the least.

It was a fate Will knew well. But even still he could never accept it. He couldn't imagine a life without his better half.

So he sat, watching his brother, and praying that the slow rising and falling of his chest would never come to cease. He turned to look at the dark circles around the closed eyes, and then to the pale pink lips. He observed Jem, and even took notice of the tiniest details, like the fact his skin was whiter than parchment and looked as if it was too fragile to withstand a soft scratch from another's fingernail.

Will closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. He couldn't handle it anymore. It was just the other day when Will and Cecile returned from the Demon Drug Den looking for yin fin to come home empty-handed. He was forced to announce the Magister had taken all the drug that was left... There was none left for Jem. They could never trade the drug for Tessa, Jem would never take it. And the guilt would only kill them all.

Will stood and grabbed his coat that was laying on the chair under himself. He put the coat on and headed to the door. With one last look at his unconscious _parabatai_ he opened the door and walked out.

~Camille~

**London, Magnus's apartment, 9:38pm**

*Knock Knock Knock*

Camille heard the knocking on the front door, she instantly put the book she was reading down and opened the door.

"...Will Herondale?"

"Camille Belcourt." Will bowed to her, "Pleasure to see you too."

Will gave her a smirk and walked inside, Camille stood with hand still on the door knob and glanced down the hall.

"Looking for someone?"

Camille turned towards the voice. Will had made himself comfortable on the sofa next the lite fireplace, the same spot she had occupied moments before.

"No I'm not, I just thought-" Camille's expression turned cold as she gazed down at the boy, "Nevermind. shouldn't _you_ be explaining to me what _you_ are doing here?"

"It's not your home, I think I own this place as much as you, why should I explain myself to you?"

"William Herondale-"

"Where's Magnus?" Will asked and Camille sighed,

"How should I know where that person wanders to. All I know is he won't be back till morning."

"Then who-"

"Now I'll ask again, why are you here William Herondale?"

Will sighed as Camille took a seat on the sofa parallel to him,

"I suppose it's no secret. James- my _parabatai_- is dying."

"Ah yes Mr. Carstairs... Such a pity. I presume you came here to ask Magnus for aid to save the boy?"

"Yes."

"Well I regret to inform you of this but if Magnus had the power to save him it would already be done."

"I know that, but-"

"Although there is something I could do..."

Will hesitated, he knew what the offer was going to be. She didn't have to even say it. But even so,

"And what's that?"

"I could turn him."

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**Thanks for reading!**

"Our souls are knit. We are one person, James."  
― Cassandra Clare, _Clockwork Prince_


	2. Hate Me

**_(I Need You)_**** To Stay**

**Chapter Summary: **Will's reconsidering of Camille's offer...

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**Chapter 2**: Hate me

**London, Magnus's apartment, 9:41pm**

~Will~

"I could turn him"

Will's eyes widened, he knew those words were going to come out of her mouth before they did, but even so it had still come as a shock. Knowing he had the ability to turn Jem immortal... He didn't know what to say... Sure, Will was happy, but also angry, upset, and most of all selfish.

"...It's a simple solution to your worries. But I daresay a shadowhunter would never-"

"No."

"No? Well I can't say I'm surprised in the least-" Will stood abruptly,

"I should be off, I want to see if Jem's regained consciousness. Tell Magnus I stopped by-"

"My my William Herondale, you better learn manners if you wish to gain things in life!"

Will was at the door now, he paused as Camille spoke. When she finished Will opened the door and stepped out, but stopped when he was in the hall.

"My apologies Miss Belcourt, but I wouldn't be mistaken to say I lost that wish long ago. It seems to me that my life is only made to lose things..." Will said quietly without turning, and shut the door behind him as he walked off.

**London Institute, 10:54pm**

"Jem..."

Will said as he walked into said boy's room.

"Will..." a soft girly voice said, "You're back. Where were you?"

Will turned to Jem, ignoring Tessa as she waited for his respnse. When he reaching the sleeping boy he placed his hand on top of Jem's hand. _'How did you become so sick without my notice?'_ Will looked at the thin, hollow face, and without turning to Tessa he asked,

"How is he?"

"No change. Although his fever has gone down, he hasn't awoken yet."

"I see..." Will responed quietly, he turned to Tessa, "Tessa can you- ?"

"Of course but remember to alert Charlette and I if there shall be a change."

With that Tessa raised and walked to the door, she was gone a second later. Will took a spot on his armchair which was still warm from Tessa, and grabbed the other's hand in his again,

"Jem, I'm back."

Will smiled to his brother but when no reaction came he frowned.

"Please wake up... I- Please Jem. For me."

Will's frown deepen. The only response was a angry crackle from the damp wood in a nearby fire.

"You know Jem, I was just with Camille, well I was expecting to see Magnus but- But she give me an offer Jem."

Will paused as he stared at the motionless boy,

"Camille offered to turn you... I said no but-"

Jem's hand twitched,

"Do you know what I am to say James?" Will smirked, "I have not turned crazy James... Not yet. But I am close, because even considering this want is mad, and selfish, and terrible. But what can I do? I am human as every other shadowhunter. I feel hope, love, sorrow, and guilt... I can't stop it. I can't sit here and watch the dark shadow and scythe of death take you... They say, "The good suffer, the evil flourish, and all that is mortal passes away", well If that's true- I- I'll go mad, crazy, and evil. For you to live, James, I'd do even the Godforsaken unthinkable. I need you to stay for me..."

**The Next Day...**

**The London Institute, 9:08am **

"Cover for you and Jem? But Jem's not even conscious! Will Herondale, where on this earth do you plan to take him!?"

"It'll be past dusk- I'll wait for everyone to go to sleep for you. No one will look for us nor even guess us to be out of bed."

"But Will, where-?"

"It's not important but it's something I need to do, Tessa, can you promise me this will stay hidden?"

"Will I am not sure I-"

Will stopped Tessa by putting a hand over her mouth as someone walked by. The two were silent until the footsteps disappeared.

"This is something I need to do Tessa. I can't tell you much yet but I promise I will. Tessa Gray, do you not trust me?"

"No. Of course not... William Herondale I expect to see Jem when I wake, and If I don't expect something atrocious..."

Will grinned.

**London, Magnus's apartment, 11:56pm**

"You're back." Will carried an unconscious Jem through the threshold of the doorway,

"I'll do it."

"Will... Are you sure?"

Will put Jem on the sofa he occupied yesterday and looked up at Magnus,

"He's dying Magnus, I have no choice..."

"That much is evident. But there is always a choice." There was a hint of sadness in his voice,

"How do you do it?" Will quietly asked,

"Make choices? Use your brain Will, it's in there somewhere."

"No. How do you survive the death of someone you love?"

"You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all."

"For me, that's impossible..."

"But-"

"This is the only way... Unless you know how to save him?"

"You know I don't." Magnus sighed and looked at Jem, he looked so peaceful, but that was not the case. The drug, _yin fin _was surely causing the boy enough pain to make every little breath a struggle.

"Ok... Camille we are ready."

**A Graveyard somewhere in London, 2:02am**

Will sat beside the transitioning boy as both Camille and Magnus watched closely from behind. He leaned down to whisper in Jem's ear,

"This pain is terrible, but since you aren't gone yet it's bearable. Maybe we aren't _parabatai_ anymore but I don't care. I need you Jem, I know I'm selfish for doing this to you but I can't even imagine life without you. Jem, hate me forever but please don't leave me. I'm sorry."

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**Thanks for Reading~~ & Review please!**

"For I wondered that others, subject to death, did live, since  
he whom I loved, as if he should never die, was dead; and I wondered  
yet more that myself, who was to him a second self, could live, he  
being dead. Well said one of his friend, "Thou half of my soul"; for  
I felt that my soul and his soul were "one soul in two bodies": and  
therefore was my life a horror to me, because I would not live halved.  
And therefore perchance I feared to die, lest he whom I had much loved  
should die wholly."  
― Augustine of Hippo, _Confessions_


	3. Don't Worry

**_(I Need You)_**** To Stay**

**Chapter Summary: **The change; Nephlim Jem to Vampire Jem...

**AN: **I wanted to say that I know the darkling vampire is suppose to be killed then buried to complete thier transition. I'm just ignoring it on purpose (the burying part).

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**Chapter 3**: Don't Worry

~Will~

**A Graveyard somewhere in London, 2:02am**

"This pain is terrible, but since you aren't gone yet it's bearable. Maybe we aren't _parabatai_ anymore but I don't care. I need you Jem, I know I'm selfish for doing this to you but I can't even imagine life without you. Jem, hate me forever but please don't leave me. I'm sorry."

Will silently watched Jem with Magnus and Camille. It was all he could do. Jem had died and was being reborn, his body was suffering through the awful transition into a vampire. Changing his frail, dying body into an immortal body was, as inhuman as it sounded, imaginably painful.

_'This is saving him. __This is saving him. __This is saving him. __This is saving-'_

"Will." Will turned to the voice; it was Camille. She was right behind Will now, Magnus still stood patiently 10 feet behind. Will looked up to Camille's face, it was blank and emotionless, but there was something else... _'What is it? Sorrow?- No. Not Camille. Maybe it's pity...'_

"Will" Camille repeated; Will realized he had never answered her call the first time. He just sat beside his undead ex-_parabatai _and stared at her with his calm face and glazed eyes.

"What?" The word came out harsher then he meant but Camille was unfazed. _'How many times has she done this?' _

"He'll awaken soon. You must go to Magnus now." She spoke it gently but Will didn't care, for all Will knew it was fabricated for solely his own sake.

"No."

"Do you not understand what is happening boy?" The pseudo-kindness in Camille's words were gone,

"When he awakens he will not be the Jem you know and love. He will be a ruthless and bloodthirsty vampire. When his eyes open he won't see you but rather a container full of blood."

Will's eyes widened, he didn't know that. He felt an arm on his shoulder; Magnus. Will stood and followed Magnus as he directed him to his old spot, 10 feet away from Jem-

"Don't worry." Magnus said to Will,

"It'll only be temporary, his vampire instincts will only take control of his mind until he is feed."

Will exhaled a breath he didn't even know he was holding, _'Why am I so nervous? I knew that, as all shadowhunters do... Jem will be fine. I am not turning him into a monster...' _

Will thought more to convince himself than anything else.

~Magnus~

Magnus stared at his girlfriend as she began to open the bloodbags, _'it'll be any minute now.'_

"Let's walk, the further the better."

This time Magnus didn't bother putting his arm around Will's shoulder, he trusted he would follow him and he didn't seem so dazed as before. When he looked behind his shoulder he discovered he was right. But not for long. Just when they reached the entrance gate for the cemetary, and both James and Camille were out of view, Will suddenly stopped. He stood maybe 5 feet from Magnus, who was 5 feet from the gate, when they heard it; Jem was screaming.

"William don't-" But it was to late, Magnus wasn't even able to say, "don't go", before he was gone.

~Camille~

"Shhh, fledgling, calm down, it's right here."

Camille handed Jem another blood-bag, like always, his blood frenzy was over-powering and almost non-stop. Camille remembered the unyielding need for the crimson liquid she had when was she was fledgling long ago.

"James..."

Camille cursed herself when she heard the voice, _'What are you doing imbecile?'_

She tried to make Will leave, commanding him with a cold gaze, she knew that spoken words would only alert the fledging vampire to the human boy's presence sooner. But Will either ignored her gaze or didn't notice it because he began to walk towards them.

When Will stepped on a twig, making a muffled *crack*, Jem finally noticed his ex-_parabatai's _presence and he slowly turned to him. Camille saw the slow rotation of Jem's head and grabbed him by the wrist but not tight enough. The desire for fresh blood made Jem crazy. Jem pulled his arm away and started speed- crawling to Will- who was, to say the least, terrified. Jem had a blood covered face, which wasn't something shocking for Will, as every time Jem coughed up blood it would stain his face in the same manner. The shocking thing was Jem's long pointy unsheathed fangs sticking out of his wide smirk. His eyes also scared Will, instead of the pale and sickly glazed eyes there was dark and murderous eyes now.

Jem stood in front of Will when Camille caught hold of him again, and this time Magnus came to her aid,

"Let him go." Will said quietly,

"He isn't in control of himself-"

"I don't care. I chose this path for him, and I should help him."

Then Will did something Camille never saw coming; he starting undressing his upper body. First his jacket, then his shirt...

"What are you doing you imbecile?!"

"I don't want blood on my shirt." Will replied calmly as if it made perfect sense.

"You're no martyr Will, he will kill you." It was Magnus this time,

"I'm no mundane either, I'll survive. Let him go."

Camille looked at Will, _'he is serious...'_

Just then Camille dropped her hold from Jem, Magnus turned to her,

"What on earth Camille?"

"The stupid boy is correct, I've feed him enough blood-bags and he won't be able to finish him without gaining his humanity back. Also I think a Nephlim can handle a vampire's bite."

Magnus paused, he trusted her but he definitely did not trust the Carstairs boy in such state. A moment later though, he let Jem go. Jem knocked Will down and went straight for his neck. Will never even flinched.

~Jem~

_**2 hours later...**_

"Will I feel wrong, I feel to different."

"Shh don't worry, we'll be at Magnus's soon and Camille will help you in ways I can't. I promise it'll be fine once we are indoors where the dawn's light won't hurt you."

"No Will, this is not fine, I am not okay Will. I can't stop wanting more blood. It'll all I can think about, and I can not make this end. I'm scared Will. I was wrong, I make a good vampire in the worst ways."

Will sat up in the carriage to look at Jem, his eyes displayed all.

"Jem-"

"What are we- What am **I** going to do now? I can't ever go back into the institute Will."

"I'll be with you, Jem. I'll tell everyone and we'll help you, I promise, don't worry."

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"For this I would have been damned forever. For this I would have given up everything."  
― Cassandra Clare


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